Last Updated on November 13, 2023 by Cathy
We tend to focus on the negative of experiences or situations. We can have a perfect day then one little thing happens and it ruins the entire day. Why do we have a tendency to focus on the negative rather than the positive?
A coyote chasing a rabbit will cause the rabbit to run for its life. But, once the danger is gone the rabbit goes back to eating like nothing ever happened. That’s not the same for humans, we hang on to things. The human brain is wired for a single purpose – survival.
We were not made for happiness, we were made for survival.
My husband works with many clients and he uses tricks to get them to remember his name. He’ll hear new employees complaining their clients never remember their name. He tells them to “stomp on your client’s foot really hard, that will make them remember you.” He’s joking of course, but that bad experience would make them remember.
Don’t Focus On The Negative, Focus On The Positive
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Our brain magnifies the bad to help us survive. If we were being chased by a coyote our fight-or-flight response kicks in. Our body starts getting flooding with adrenaline. The heart beats faster, breathing quickens, digestion stops, and brain activity changes.
Not to mention the pupils dilate, blood starts flowing faster, and you can’t think as clearly. Your body reacts quickly to the situation rather than thinking about reacting. This helps us when there is real danger.
Do we go back to what we were doing before this stressful situation happened? No, we replay everything that happened, feeling the emotions and anxiety rise. – We focus on the negative.
Stress once in a while is good, it prepares your body for what you need to do in the moment. Ongoing stress, such as financial troubles or a job you hate, can lead to chronic diseases. Chronic stress has toxic effects – it wears out your body.
A negative mind leads to stress and stress leads to a negative mind. Stress plays a huge role in multiple sclerosis (MS). Many studies have found that stress can increase the risk of MS. Stress also causes MS exacerbations (flares or attacks).
Living With a Positive Mindset
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Negative thinking is destructive, it leads to anxiety, depression, and illness. But you don’t have to live like this. You can change the way you think. Granted you can’t always stay positive but you can control the way you react by changing your mindset.
First, stop beating yourself up, and stop thinking negative about yourself, living with MS is tough enough. Someone once told me they were surprised I wasn’t getting stronger since I exercised daily. I could have taken this the wrong way but instead, I said “That’s because I have nerve damage” and I didn’t let it bother me.
I was getting stronger, I could get up off the floor (not gracefully), and I could walk upstairs more easily. Plus, I could feel the muscles in my legs again. Maybe to other people, I wasn’t getting stronger but to me I was and that’s what counts.
If you focus on what you don’t have then that’s where you’ll stay. Studies found cancer patients who had better attitudes also had better survival rates. People with a positive mindset appreciate what they have and greet each day with appreciation, gratitude, and joy.
Instead of living in a state of fear and depression make peace with the past and focus on the future. Don’t compare yourself with other people. Just because some people seem to heal faster doesn’t mean that will happen to everyone. It depends on your toxic load and the severity of your neurological damage.
And don’t believe because you’ve had MS for a long time you won’t be able to heal. I was able to reverse my severe heat intolerance after living with it for about twenty years. – It is possible!
That’s why having a positive mindset is so important.
Feel More At Peace
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It’s natural to have a negative outlook, especially when you’re living with MS. But when you start having a positive mindset you’ll start to feel better. Your nerves will calm down and you’ll feel more at peace.
Replacing negative thoughts with healthier thoughts can be difficult. First, look at why you’re having negative thoughts and what is happening. Are you filling your brain with negative messages?
Thinking positively works in the same way. If you catch yourself thinking negatively start thinking about about something positive. Instead of thinking of things you can’t do, think of things you can do.
Negative things happen, that’s the way life is. But, it’s how you handle it that will make a difference. Instead of worrying about the future make plans on how you are going to handle it. During the “Great Recession” I was stressed I was next to get laid off. My husband told me instead of worrying “if” you get laid off, plan on “when” you get laid off. – That made a huge difference.
Stay away from negative people they are contagious and you will begin to believe them. Instead, be around positive people who support and believe in your ability to heal. It can be hard because sometimes it’s a close relative or friend. If you can, take a break from them for a month or more.
You can’t change the fact that you have MS but you can change how you think. When you meet challenges with a positive mind frame it’s not as overwhelming. Keep any goals you have realistic, if you don’t you’ll get disappointed. When you do achieve a goal it will lift your spirits.
If you need help relaxing try taking some lemon balm, smelling essential oils, or drinking stress-reducing herbal tea. You could also try an app like The Mindfulness App or Motivation app, they are both free. Check out Matt Rowe’s book, Belief to Heal: Mastering the Mindset to Heal. He was diagnosed with primary progressive MS (PPMS) and today he is symptom-free.
It Takes Time
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Stop sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. Anytime you think of a negative thought rephrase it to a positive thought. Instead of saying “I can’t” say “I will try” and mean it. You get to choose which thought you’d like to follow.
Seeing the worst in everything doesn’t accomplish anything except misery.
It takes time, sometimes over a year, to automatically think positive thoughts. Don’t let that deter you – that’s negative thinking. Like all things, it takes time to build a new habit. Don’t expect perfection, you just want to be happy in your daily life.
Part of healing is changing your mindset to a positive one. When you automatically start thinking positively that brings more positivity to you. Start your day by thinking about something that’s positive or something that makes you happy.
Eat healthy, exercise, get to bed early, and get up to watch the sunrise or listen to birds. Make your favorite tea, have a good breakfast, or go outside and soak up some morning sun. Do something that will motivate you to get up and it makes you happy.
Which would you rather have, being negative and miserable or positive and happy? Yeah, me too.
Want to remember this health tip? Pin it to your Pinterest board!
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